Stork Alert!

I'm so happy for a couple of very deserving folks that are currently getting (or expecting) referrals! Congrats to you!!!

My Destiny?

So anyone who is on Faceb00k knows that there are an unlimited number of little applications that are available that allow you to send things to your friend list - anything from throwing snowballs at them to sending someone a hug. It's actually kind of cute - at least some of them are cute - some not so much.

Anyway, last week my sister sent me some "flair" which is really just a button like the servers would wear at Frid@y's. She sent me a couple of cute buttons - one was a Harry Connick Jr (my McDreamy). Another one said "I'm the fun Aunt". It was really cute but for some reason I haven't stopped thinking about it.

I haven't been able to stop wondering if that piece of flair is my destiny. A little background - I have 7 nieces and nephews ranging in age from 21 to 16 months!!! They are everything to me. I love them all more than I could ever explain. And I have an amazing relationship with them all. It's because of these kids that I knew in my heart that I wanted to be a mom. It's because of the joy that they bring to my life and the absolute deep and unconditional love that I feel for them that I finally realized that being a mom was what I really and truly wanted. My heart is so full of love for them that I don't think I have honestly ever fully understood it.

I also honestly believe that everything happens in His time, not mine and that all things that happen to us, for us or because of us happens for a reason. But I can't stop wondering if being the best aunt I can be and having such a special relationship with those 7 wonderful kids and building amazing memories that they will carry with them for their whole lives is really what I was meant to do. As the wait gets longer and longer and I feel the adoption slipping further and further away I can't help but wonder if I am destined to be the "fun aunt" but maybe not a mother. It pains me just to type that but as the latest referrals only included 2 days it seems to be more of a reality every month and that breaks my heart.

Every month I feel so happy for those folks who get their referrals. And every month I feel a little more distant from it for myself. I feel like we are so far away that it will never be us. And that makes me sad. Hubby reassures me that it will happen when and how it's "supposed" to but the longer we wait and the further away a referral seems, the less I think I believe that.

But I also have these 7 amazing children in my life that I love more than they can ever know and who love me probably more than I know. And maybe that's how it's supposed to be - maybe I am supposed to make an impact on their lives and them on mine and maybe that's supposed to be enough. I know for a fact that they have all made an impact on my life already. And for that I'm grateful.

I suppose if this is my destiny, I'm lucky to have these 7 wonderful kids to help me fulfill it.

Is it over yet?

I am so ready for winter to be over. The cold weather is doing bad things to my mood and otherwise very sunny disposition.
CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY!!!!! I'd rather be:
I'm looking for some good rumors on RQ. There are a few folks that I'm hoping and praying get in this time! Come on good news! We need you!

"I wuv it"

My birthday was last Saturday (boo) and somebody (I won't name names coughHopecough) REALLY enjoyed the cake - well at least the icing!  :-)

They were right!!

So the weathermen here have been crying snow for the past couple of weeks. We have gotten nothing more than a dusting. Until yesterday. They finally had it right. We got a couple inches of snow, then 2 inches of ice, then a couple more inches of snow. Good times. :-)

And I wanted to wish everyone a Happy Chinese New Year! We didn't go to our local FCC celebration this year because we were in Florida visiting hubby's parents. I thought it would be a nice getaway from the painfully cold weather we've been having but they've had a cold spell as well so it wasn't quite as warm as I had hoped but it was at least above freezing! And there was wine. :-)

Thoughts

First of all, the biggest congratulations to my brainiac niece Lin for making the Dean's List her 1st quarter of college. She is seriously so dedicated and so smart that it impresses me every day. She's a fabulous chick and I couldn't be prouder.

Second, thanks to Dave, my favorite St*rbucks guy for consistently making the best misto around! Some days getting a really good coffee drink makes up for the rest of the cr*p I've dealt with during the day. Dave you rock!

Third - poo poo poo on the 2 day referral rumors. I'm not new here. I've been in the process for a while and I should know better than to get excited about rumors from the Queen - especially early rumors. But in all honesty the news has been so depressing every month since we got into this process that when a good rumor came along it was really hard not to grab onto it and feel some excitement. I'm very disappointed for a couple of bloggers that I have followed since the beginning. I was really hoping this would be their month but it doesn't look good right now.

Ladies, I'm sorry for you now and will still have all of my appendages crossed that it happens for you next month! Hang in there!

Scandalous! And Some Encouraging Rumors

Oh my - the scandal!! He was caught in the act. I had hoped his other love wouldn't find out.

Sadly enough, I think the Snowman found out. Oh the carnage!!!!

In the more exciting news, RQ has reported some very positive rumors and there are waiting families whose blogs I have followed for some time who have the possibility of getting a referral this time around. I'm crossing all fingers and toes on their behalf. I am so excited for them!!! I'm also hoping that the rumor of the that things may be turning around is at least somewhat true. This wait is so grueling and I had hoped that after the Olympics things would speed up but it didn't as quickly as I had hoped. Seeing families that I've followed since we were logged in at least gives us hope that it will actually happen for us someday. Some days it's hard to believe that.

Love it!!!!

Yesterday when I got home there was a package stuck inside the front door - that always gets me excited. :-) But since I wasn't expecting any packages it was even more exciting. I opened the box to find this beauty:

It's from my sis MK in TX. How sweet was that? She is so very thoughtful and I love the little fairy godmother!!! She's meant to watch over us until we get a referral and then watch over our daughter. Of course I cried like a big baby!! Thanks MK!!! You're the best.

Poor Baby

I stopped at the grocery store on my way home from work today and, as always because I have no control in the dog toy aisle, I brought the dogs a special treat.   Well Riley finished his first and then proceeded to look as pathetic as possible in the hopes that Ella would "share" hers.   Needless to say she didn't but he sure gave her the most pitiful looks in hopes that it will do the trick and she will take pity on him.  She didn't. 

"Maybe if I get real close to her I can break her with my pitiful staredown"

"Or maybe if I don't look directly at her she will forget I'm here and run off to get a drink and I'll swoop in and take it."

"Please Ella - I'm dying over here. Can't you see how bad I need it??!!" 

She had NO sympathy and continued chewing.  That's my Princess!! 

What did I do to them?

Why, oh why does the company I work (slave) for dislike me so much? Why are they so determined to set me up for failure? What did I ever do to them to make them do such terrible things to me? I can't believe they've done this:

Why don't they support my admittedly unspoken but completely official New Year's resolution to cut out sweets in the mid afternoon?   Don't they know they are so not helping me by putting these little morsels of heaven by the thousands in our breakroom - and charging pennies for them.  I innocently walk into the break room with a couple of shiny quarters in my pocket and spend the rest of the afternoon unwrapping and chewing my way to Tootsie bliss.   It's wrong.  

Wait - maybe it's me - maybe I'm supposed to have that little thing called will power.  Maybe I'm supposed to leave those shiny quarters in my pocket and just pass these gems by.......... No - it's not me, it's them.   :-)  It's always them.